My Ballot Choices for May 21 Special Election

It’s really hard to believe that, here in the 21st century, we still vote by filling in dots on a piece of heavy paper. Remember to use a pen (blue or black ink only), and of course your vote won’t count if you either don’t fill in the oval completely, or G-d forbid, go outside the line!

And candidates for office, and ballot measures, still use yard signs as campaign tools! My favorite for this cycle is the sign for Steve Fulton, a neighbor of mine who is running to be on the Port of Astoria Commission. His sign sports a French flag! It’s quite the game around election time to try and figure out who the supporters of a particular candidate are. “I didn’t know the Joneses were Tea Partiers!” Sometimes it gets interesting, because even though they aren’t supposed to, sometimes candidates put their signs on public property, and you wonder if the local public officials of that jurisdiction are for those candidates.

But my problem with this election is that when I opened my ballot, most of the names I either didn’t know, or if I did know them, I had no idea why they were running for office. So I could employ the inverse technique to above, and maybe gauge which candidate to vote for by seeing if their signs showed up on neighbors lawns whose politics I knew (or thought I knew). (Then again, there were some candidates I both knew and knew their views, but couldn’t figure out why they were running!)

Alas, not much luck there. Pretty much only the port commission races had any signs, and I thought I knew most of these guys. But I have been thrown for a loop on some of these, since some of my trusted progressive friends seem to be voting for people I wouldn’t dream are such. In fact, of the names I know, none on my ballot are particularly progressive.

And my other problem with this ballot is that I can’t figure out why I’m voting for some of these positions. For the Clatsop Community College board, I’m voting for 3 positions (2, 3 and 5, if you’re counting). Two of these positions are in Zone 2, whatever that is, and one is in Zone 3. I assume these are geographic areas, but I’m sure (or at least I hope) that they don’t overlap, and I only live in one of them, so what’s up?

I used to write about these elections for HIPFiSH. That was how I learned the answers to all these questions. And how I learned about the candidates and ballot measures that our great democracy was voting on, at least in Clatsop County. But not this year. And the Daily Astorian’s interviews with the candidates weren’t much help. Sorry, Steve.

You see, I have a problem with non-partisan elections. Though the party tags don’t tell you a whole lot about a candidate, at least you can usually rule out a bunch of candidates to start. And without the parties involved in marketing their candidates and issues, there’s not much information to go by. Long gone is the county voter’s pamphlet for these special elections. The main source of information on these candidates is Facebook.

Which is why my ballot for the May 21 Special Election will contain some write-in candidates and many blanks. And so here you go — Rabbi Bob’s ballot, with commentary. Take it and two ibuprofen and call me in the morning.

Clatsop Community College Board of Directors (I think I’ve figured it out! There are 5 board positions, but only 3 zones. Right? We vote county-wide, and stagger the vote — 3 and two years later, 2. Right?)

Clatsop Community College Director, Zone 2, Position 2: Perry Callas (Perry was fired by the college in their purge last year. Perfect person to stir things up…)
Clatsop Community College Director, Zone 2, Position 3: Patrick Kane (Patrick was also fired by the college last year. Now the fact that he now lives and works in Dubai shouldn’t have anything to do with my vote, right?)
Clatsop Community College Director, Zone 3, Position 5: Judy Niland (I picked Judy because she sort of runs a theater that in some ways competes with the Liberty Theater, which Rosemary Baker-Monaghan runs. Rosemary has been on the college board too long, and her job at the Liberty is enough anyway. Now I know that Judy probably doesn’t live in the right place to run for this position, but since Rosemary is on the ballot without any challengers, I don’t think my vote will matter anyway, and that’s the point.)

Astoria School District #1C (The #1C has always confused me. Is there more than one school district in Astoria?)

I don’t think I’m going to vote for these positions, since my son no longer attends school here. I realize that the school board is very important, but let’s face it, unless there’s a contentious issue like school-based health centers, nobody comes to these meetings. The last contentious issue, the restructuring of which buildings held which grades, caused a sweeping change in the board, and not much has changed since then. I can’t really help you voters out there with choices anyway, since I either don’t know the candidates listed on the ballot, or I have no idea what their ideas on education are. In any case, it is extremely unlikely that any of them can help to implement the changes that I’d like to see, so I’m not going to make an uninformed (eeny-meeny-miny-mo) choice.

Port of Astoria (Oy, this beloved institution is really in trouble!)

Commissioner, Position 1: I can’t believe Larry Pfund (what kind of name is that, anyway?) is running again, and I REALLY can’t believe he’s considered the moderate candidate! He had to be shouted quiet by another commissioner at a candidates’ forum recently for opposing LNG exports! I have little respect for the guy, having attended meetings and heard him talk. The challenger I know nothing about at all. But I do know that most houses that have a sign for Steve Fulton (stay tuned, we’re getting to that race) also have a sign for James Campbell, so I’m guessing he’s another developer/business guy who will advocate for economic development and try to draw large industries here. (This is the problem. Most of these guys running for the port commission are conservative, economic development, chop down trees (and ship them to China) type guys. They certainly wouldn’t represent my interests, which are centered on the health of the local estuary ecosystem. I’d love to see the river return to its former glory, and the port stick to the development of small, environmentally friendly industrial development at the airport and their land on the river.) Bottom line is neither of these guys does it for me, so I’ll probably leave this one blank.

Commissioner, Position 2: This is the big one! Evidently, one of my favorite people in Astoria, Floyd Holcom, has decided to hang up the towel, and the three guys running to replace him wouldn’t really change anything at the Port, so again, I’ll probably leave this one blank. I am completely confused by some of the endorsements that Gil Gramson has gotten. People I know and like are singing Gramson’s praises, and I thought he was the enemy — the developer and mayor that brought LNG and retail hell to Warrenton. I don’t get it. Instead of running a candidate that would challenge Steve Fulton, Martin Nygaard’s right hand man and an avid advocate of retail and industrial development in our beautiful estuary, the left has chosen to sit it out, or worse, endorse a guy who they cheered when he was beaten in a recent city council race in Warrenton. Though I like Fulton personally, I just worry when someone so close to the Nygaard empire starts running for positions such as port commissioner. I just think the conflict of interest is too great.

Commissioner, Position 5: Don’t know any of these guys. Gerttula seems to be associated with Fulton and Campbell. He’s out. Smithart and Mead — I have no idea. Another blank.

Clatsop Care Center Health District

My ballot has 4 — count them, four! — races for the board of directors of the health district. What the heck? What does this board do? I asked my wife, a nurse at Columbia Memorial, and she has no idea. She helped some friends make their decisions, because she some of the people running, but I think this is another part of my ballot that will go blank.

OK, I just had to look this up on the web. According to the health district’s web site: “Clatsop Care Center Health District is a non-profit, publicly-owned, long-term care community offering a family concept of caring at multiple levels. Clatsop Care Center Health District oversees the operations of Clatsop Care Center, a 71-bed skilled nursing and long-term care facility, Clatsop Retirement Village, a 69-unit assisted living facility, and Clatsop In-Home Care Services, a program that provides in-home care to approximately 30 clients throughout the county. Our facilities and services have a reputation both locally and statewide for providing professional, compassionate care. Because we are community owned, we understand our responsibility and duty to be responsive and accountable to the general public as well as to the residents and families we are so proud to serve.”

So, I guess these facilities and services are publicly owned, and so have to have an elected board. Sort of like the college, the port, and the final part of my ballot, the transportation district. I’m a little jaded about the need for a board for these things, given the records of these officials and the organizations. Have you ever been to a health district board meeting? Do you have any idea what they do? Are they in any way responsive to the public once they are elected? For me, the answer to all these questions is no.

Sunset Empire Transportation District

Interesting. This esteemed body, which booted Cindy Howe after years of neglect of their duties, seems not to have many incumbents on the ballot. I have to admit that I don’t know any of the names on my ballot, and I’m a bit disappointed at that. I actually ran for a position on this board a few years ago, and lost to Susan Conner, Bruce’s wife and a friend of Willis Van Dusen’s. I care deeply about public transportation, and am saddened at the debacle that has become of our once-proud local bus system. I am disappointed that this election has seen no publicity whatsoever in regard to the transportation district, given its importance. I must conclude that the whole idea of voting in public boards of directors is a farce, and we’ve got to find a better way to run our public agencies. Mind you, I’m not a fan of privatization; I just think that we’ve got to come up with a better way to run these agencies. Sham/farce elections every few years isn’t doing it. Another big blank space on the ballot.

That’s it, folks. No ballot measures here this time. Yes, I will personally bring my ballot to the county offices in Astoria on Tuesday, as I believe that Election Day is when we should vote, but it will be mostly blank, with a few write-ins. Since I already know that most write-ins are not counted at all, effectively I will not vote for any winners in this special election. Sad state of affairs.

Let me know if you have any advice for me. There are still 3 days to vote, and I am open to argument and persuasion. Have a great Election Day weekend!