Education is Communication

When we hear the phrase “they are a good communicator,” we often assume that means the person being referred to has a way with words and chooses them so that their audience understands their message clearly. What has to be taken into account, however, is that the majority of our communication is transmitted via our body language and our tone of voice as opposed to the words we use. An example of this would be the way an adult often interacts with a baby. The adult, in an attempt to make the baby smile, may use sounds instead of words (ie: goo-goo, gaga) but they will be using a high-pitched voice as they make their eyes wide and their smile large. When the baby smiles they are not responding to any words but to the overall idea that is being communicated, which is that the adult is happy and not a threat.

Some studies have shown that the words used in one’s message only account for 7% of communication while tone of voice accounts for 38% and body language 55%. These numbers have their detractors, but even if they are not completely accurate they indicate that we need to pay close attention to these non-verbal aspects of our communication.

From 2009 to 2014 I worked in the Portland Public School District as a para-educator implementing education plans for kids in special education. It was one of the most fulfilling periods in my work life and I earned the nickname “The Autism Whisperer” at one school where I worked. This was due to my ability to connect with kids on the autism spectrum and to help them become comfortable in their new, unfamiliar surroundings.

I found that the techniques that I used with this population of students translated to the work I was doing with the general student population (at the time I was pursuing my Master of Education degree), and later to the interactions I’ve had with dogs in my current position as owner of Four Paws on the Beach in Manzanita, Oregon. In case it needs to be said, I am in no way equating those kids, whom I care for very deeply, with animals. Rather, I am simply discussing how many of the skills were transferable.

As children age they can extract more and more meaning out of the words that are used to communicate with them, but in those early years, tone of voice and body language dominate. Just imagine a room full of kindergartners listening to their teacher read a story. Imagine the teacher never looking up from the book and reading with a monotone voice. Can you see the kids starting to fidget in your mind? Now imagine the teacher telling the story by giving each character a different sounding voice, raising and lowering their voice to indicate levels of tension or surprise, and looking out at the little faces before them with animated expressions. A really good teacher will actually involve the kids in the story by asking them things like, “What do you think is going to happen next?” or “When that happened how did it make you feel?” Now the kids are hanging on every word, and not because of the words being used, but because of how they are being used.

Some dogs can understand what certain words mean (ie: sit, shake, down, etc.) but garner the vast majority of the information being communicated to them via tone and body language. An example might be a dog owner that thinks that their hound knows what the word “car” means because every time they say to the dog, “Let’s go get in the car!” the dog jumps in the front seat. The owner isn’t taking into account the fact that they are using a higher, friendlier tone of voice than usual and they are moving and indicating toward the car with their hands. The dog may hear the word “car” as well but it is a small part of the overall message leading the dog to believe they are going for a ride.

Temple Grandin is an Assistant Professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University and she has autism (you may have seen the movie about her starring Claire Danes). In her paper Thinking the Way Animals Do: Unique Insights from a Person with a Singular Understanding she writes: “People with autism and animals both think by making visual associations. These associations are like snapshots of events and tend to be very specific. For example, a horse might fear bearded men when it sees one in the barn, but bearded men might be tolerated in the riding arena. In this situation the horse may only fear bearded men in the barn because he may have had a bad past experience in the barn with a bearded man.”

I helped children with autism to be comfortable in their new surroundings by providing a positive “snapshot” for those children to refer to whenever they thought about going to school.

It is important to keep certain things in mind when meeting and approaching a dog, a very young child or a special needs student. First, is to approach on their level. If possible sit in a low chair or on the ground or take a knee. Have an open demeanor without arms crossed and a pleasant facial expression. Pay close attention to how they react to you and their comfort level. Do not force initial encounters but let them come to you. This is especially important when meeting kids with autism because their initial feelings about a person will stick with them; and if those feelings are negative and without trust, it can take a very long time to get past those feelings and to build a trusting, productive relationship.

The key to successful communication with almost anyone, but in particular with the groups I’m writing about, is for the communicator to let the audience give them an indication as to what their mood is, what their likes and dislikes are, and how they like to be approached. Take those cues and shape your approach and message to connect in the most positive and personal way. It is easy to let arrogance creep in and drown out our message because we “know” what needs to be communicated and the “best” way to get that message across. However, they will not hear anything you have to say if they feel threatened or unsafe in any way. If that child or dog is backing away and is looking at you with concern do not continue to approach them. Stop, get low and wait for them to approach you as you continue to speak in a genuinely friendly tone.

When you give them control of the situation and engage them utilizing their interests you will connect on a much deeper level. It can take a while as you figure out how to navigate an individual’s particular pathways, but the reward of being able to communicate in a deeper and ongoing way will make that investment more than worth it.